Are You a Supermom?

That's the question this week. Are you a super mom? Do you try to be a supermom and then fail and feel guilty? Why do we do this to ourselves? We make these lists of what a perfect mom would do in each situation, then another situation presents itself and we do nothing like what we planned before having children. We read about the Proverbs 31 woman and try to be her, but forget that she didn't just "magically become the woman that she was. It took time and practice. We are the same way. BC (Before Children) we all had our to do lists -

• we would never forget to pick up our child at school
• We would always have an activity for them to do
• We'd never yell at our children - we'd never need to get angry with them because they were perfect too, don't you know.
• We'd never MAKE them play by themselves just so we could have a moments peace - because we want to be them always
• Our children would always be perfectly obedient and polite

Maybe I'm the only one with some of these issues. I'm sure all of you reading this blog are perfect mothers, but just on the off chance that you aren't, know that you are not alone.

In the book "Mom...and Loving It" by Laurie Lovejoy Hilliard and Sharon Lovejoy Autry, we learn that we don't have to be perfect. God didn't create us to be perfect. We are to learn from our mistakes and not feel guilty for them. Much of our guilt is because we have made this long "to do" list as mothers. We want our children to be happy, healthy, smart, friendly, and a whole list of other things. We want to be the mothers that everone wishes the had, but this is just not meant to be. We are listmakers (at least I am, as are many of my friends). We make a list at the beginning of the week and plan to check everything off before the week is over. But Provers 27:1 says "Don't brashly announce what you're going to do tomorrow; you don't know the first thing about tomorrow." (The Message). This means that we can only take care of today. We shouldn't worry about how we'll get Tom to football practice next Thursday, and Sally to dance class on Friday. It's okay to plan, but we can't allow all this planning to control our lives. We need to allow for time with our children too. Take time now to spend with your kids playing their favorite game or activity (even if you hate it - Dora is not my favorite thing to play). The main thing we need to remember is that we can make all the lists in the world, but in reality, our fantansy of the perfect mother is not meant to be. We may have to give up some of the things we thought we'd do - scrapbooking for every child every day of their lives or making all their dresses from scratch. This isn't to say we can't do any of these activities, but we have to do it in moderation to save our sanity.
The more we try fulfill the list of the perfect mom, the more guilt we are going to pile on ourselves because we just can't achieve that level of perfection. This again is something that has been difficult for me. We attain guilt from everywhere in our lives - our past, our present, and our future (the what if's of our life). Guilt becomes a heavy burden that is too heavy to bear (Psalm 38:4) We need to remember that God is the only One who can take away our guilt.
There aer several guilt grennades that get us as mothers:

• lack of family time
• stay-at-home vs working full time or working full time vs staying-at-home
• angry outbursts

We try to do so much as mothers, whether we work in the home or outside the home, and feel it is our responsibility to keep everything in working order. At one time in our history, the mother cooked, cleaned, reared the children, had a garden, taught from the home, and canned all their food for the winter. While there are still women who do this (Kudos to you), I am not one. I see "Little House on the Prairie" and think, how did they ever do that? Well, they didn't have the distractions we do today. Life was definitely hard for them and they had their share of trials. Life is hard for us too at times. We may feel guilty for not working and supplementing the income of our families since we are the ones who spend the money (groceries, clothing for our children, etc.). We may feel guilty for not spending time with them because we are doing dishes, making dinner, or folding laundry. We may feel angry to for getting annoyed with our children when they hug the cat for the millionth time and the cat cries out because it doesn't like to be hugged so tightly. Okay, so maybe these are areas that I feel guilty, but I know that God is trying to teach me something through these experiences as well. It's okay for my daughter to play by herself for 15 minutes while I wash dishes. It's okay that I'm staying at home because this was the decision my husband and I made long before children. It may be different at your home. If you are working, you shouldn't feel guilty about it because you are trying to provide the means to take care of your children. My sister feels the guilt of working, but when she has time with her children, she uses it as best as she can.

There is a conference coming up very soon called Hearts at Home. I highly recommend it! Check out their website and maybe borrow some books from the library from authors that are regulars there. The website is www.hearts-at-home.org. At this conference, there are workshops that go more indepth than I ever could on this blog, but you learn that the perfect mother is who God created you to be. You are perfectly human. It's okay to make mistakes, this is how we learn. We are not going to screw our children up for life because we didn't give them vegetables for dinner last night. We are a work in progress. We do have Someone we can turn to when it feels that life is unraveling before us. This person is Jesus Christ, God's son. Jesus experienced everything we have ever or will ever experience. We need to just call on Jesus in all times through all experiences. When we are feeling tried in our patience, pray for peace and wisdom to get through the situation. Also remember another very important verse Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (NIV).

I hope that this blog has encouraged you this week. Don't be so hard on yourself. Go to God with your guilt and let Him take it away. You are perfect in your imperfection. Love your family and enjoy your time with them because life is short. Laundry can wait for tomorrow. Go swimming tonight and enjoy yourselves.