Are You a Supermom?

That's the question this week. Are you a super mom? Do you try to be a supermom and then fail and feel guilty? Why do we do this to ourselves? We make these lists of what a perfect mom would do in each situation, then another situation presents itself and we do nothing like what we planned before having children. We read about the Proverbs 31 woman and try to be her, but forget that she didn't just "magically become the woman that she was. It took time and practice. We are the same way. BC (Before Children) we all had our to do lists -

• we would never forget to pick up our child at school
• We would always have an activity for them to do
• We'd never yell at our children - we'd never need to get angry with them because they were perfect too, don't you know.
• We'd never MAKE them play by themselves just so we could have a moments peace - because we want to be them always
• Our children would always be perfectly obedient and polite

Maybe I'm the only one with some of these issues. I'm sure all of you reading this blog are perfect mothers, but just on the off chance that you aren't, know that you are not alone.

In the book "Mom...and Loving It" by Laurie Lovejoy Hilliard and Sharon Lovejoy Autry, we learn that we don't have to be perfect. God didn't create us to be perfect. We are to learn from our mistakes and not feel guilty for them. Much of our guilt is because we have made this long "to do" list as mothers. We want our children to be happy, healthy, smart, friendly, and a whole list of other things. We want to be the mothers that everone wishes the had, but this is just not meant to be. We are listmakers (at least I am, as are many of my friends). We make a list at the beginning of the week and plan to check everything off before the week is over. But Provers 27:1 says "Don't brashly announce what you're going to do tomorrow; you don't know the first thing about tomorrow." (The Message). This means that we can only take care of today. We shouldn't worry about how we'll get Tom to football practice next Thursday, and Sally to dance class on Friday. It's okay to plan, but we can't allow all this planning to control our lives. We need to allow for time with our children too. Take time now to spend with your kids playing their favorite game or activity (even if you hate it - Dora is not my favorite thing to play). The main thing we need to remember is that we can make all the lists in the world, but in reality, our fantansy of the perfect mother is not meant to be. We may have to give up some of the things we thought we'd do - scrapbooking for every child every day of their lives or making all their dresses from scratch. This isn't to say we can't do any of these activities, but we have to do it in moderation to save our sanity.
The more we try fulfill the list of the perfect mom, the more guilt we are going to pile on ourselves because we just can't achieve that level of perfection. This again is something that has been difficult for me. We attain guilt from everywhere in our lives - our past, our present, and our future (the what if's of our life). Guilt becomes a heavy burden that is too heavy to bear (Psalm 38:4) We need to remember that God is the only One who can take away our guilt.
There aer several guilt grennades that get us as mothers:

• lack of family time
• stay-at-home vs working full time or working full time vs staying-at-home
• angry outbursts

We try to do so much as mothers, whether we work in the home or outside the home, and feel it is our responsibility to keep everything in working order. At one time in our history, the mother cooked, cleaned, reared the children, had a garden, taught from the home, and canned all their food for the winter. While there are still women who do this (Kudos to you), I am not one. I see "Little House on the Prairie" and think, how did they ever do that? Well, they didn't have the distractions we do today. Life was definitely hard for them and they had their share of trials. Life is hard for us too at times. We may feel guilty for not working and supplementing the income of our families since we are the ones who spend the money (groceries, clothing for our children, etc.). We may feel guilty for not spending time with them because we are doing dishes, making dinner, or folding laundry. We may feel angry to for getting annoyed with our children when they hug the cat for the millionth time and the cat cries out because it doesn't like to be hugged so tightly. Okay, so maybe these are areas that I feel guilty, but I know that God is trying to teach me something through these experiences as well. It's okay for my daughter to play by herself for 15 minutes while I wash dishes. It's okay that I'm staying at home because this was the decision my husband and I made long before children. It may be different at your home. If you are working, you shouldn't feel guilty about it because you are trying to provide the means to take care of your children. My sister feels the guilt of working, but when she has time with her children, she uses it as best as she can.

There is a conference coming up very soon called Hearts at Home. I highly recommend it! Check out their website and maybe borrow some books from the library from authors that are regulars there. The website is www.hearts-at-home.org. At this conference, there are workshops that go more indepth than I ever could on this blog, but you learn that the perfect mother is who God created you to be. You are perfectly human. It's okay to make mistakes, this is how we learn. We are not going to screw our children up for life because we didn't give them vegetables for dinner last night. We are a work in progress. We do have Someone we can turn to when it feels that life is unraveling before us. This person is Jesus Christ, God's son. Jesus experienced everything we have ever or will ever experience. We need to just call on Jesus in all times through all experiences. When we are feeling tried in our patience, pray for peace and wisdom to get through the situation. Also remember another very important verse Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (NIV).

I hope that this blog has encouraged you this week. Don't be so hard on yourself. Go to God with your guilt and let Him take it away. You are perfect in your imperfection. Love your family and enjoy your time with them because life is short. Laundry can wait for tomorrow. Go swimming tonight and enjoy yourselves.

Our second meeting was wonderful! Unfortunately, we had fewer people than we expected due to power outages in the area. Many of our members were without power for several days. Fortunately, power is gradually being brought back on all over Ohio. The wind storm last Sunday was quite a doozy. It was called a dry hurricane. Never heard of such a thing, but I can now say I've experienced it.

At our meeting this week, we watch a video by Beth Moore called "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things". We watch session 4. What a powerful video. It was called "Wise Up".

Hebrews 10:24-25 says
24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let
us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one
another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (NIV)

We need to encourage one another because the of Christ is approaching. As we get closer there will be more challenges for us. This is because Satan tries to keep us from each other. This is one the main reasons we need Mom2Mom!! We are here for each other. We can support each other. It doesn't matter what you are going through. Someone has been through it. Be it depression, addiction, divorce, or anything else life throws at us. We need to be here for each other. Satan uses everything against us to try to keep us from relationships with other women.

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (NIV)

1 John 1:3, 7
3We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.
7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (NIV)

2Timothy 1:13-14
13What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. 14Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

What do these verses mean? They are talking about the relationships we have with other people - the non-sexual relationships. It's talking about koinonia - fellowship with others. What is the deposit that 2Timothy is talking about? They are what we give to others when we are in relationship with them. For example, the Holy Spirit is a deposit from God - a very good deposit at that. We can also get not so good deposits from other people - these are words that we might say, actions that we do for and against a person. We are called to love each other and not make meaningless deposits.

How many best friends do you have? How many friends do you have that are just acquaintances? It's okay to have these superficial friends, but you need to have the close friends. They are the ones who leave good deposits in our lives - encouragement, love and respect for ourselves, happiness.

Beth also goes on to say that we need to ask God to rid us of the bad deposits in our life. The disrespect we have for ourselves, our children, our spouses. These bad deposits are what Satan uses to bring us down and cause the depression that we feel.

We were created to need God and to have a relationship and fellowship with God. We need to know that we are beautiful, smart, and talented.

Romans 5:8
8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

This is the ultimate deposit that God has given us. We will always be sinners, but God loves us and wants to have fellowship with us. He wants Koinonia with us. Nothing that you do can make God want to leave you.

Matthew 15:13
13He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.

The deposits in our lives that are unhealthy can be discarded from our lives. The way to do this is through prayer. God will cleanse you of these unhealthy thoughts, feelings, behaviours, but we must ask for the help. He won't force it upon us.

I pray that these notes from Beth Moore's study have blessed you as it blessed me and the other women who saw it. Of course there was much more to this study. I am only givng a synopsis of a portion of the Bible study. I encourage you to go to the library and borrow it. Or better yet, get a group of women together and watch it as a group. you will get so much out of it.

Until next time, have a blessed week! May you have Koinonia with God and with those around you. Pray for cleansing and spread good deposits into those near you.

Hello Mom2Mom-ers,

What a wonderful first meeting we had.  I must apologize for not updating sooner, but it has been quite an eventful weekend for your writer (me).  Here are some of the updates from our first meeting.  Of course, we had the obligatory announcements - 

Announcements, announcements, announcements  

A terrible way to die, a terrible way to die

Hi ho the derry-o, a terrible way to die.

Just joking, Sarah!!  

Anywho, here are the updates from our meeting.

We spoke about coffee - we won't be having coffee because Sarah is using the coffee pot as a decoration in her living room.  If you would like coffee, table 1 has a carafe and you can pay Shannon 25 cents a cup.  Hahaha!  Make sure to bring caffeinated beverages with you!  Jenny's cowboy coffee can only go so far.

Happy Birthday Ashley and Allison - Hope you enjoyed Sarah's Marilyn Monroe/striptease impressions.  Sarah, we love you, but don't quit your day job.

Tonya sent us a beautiful letter.  We need to stop crying and move on with our lives.  "Don't cry for me, Mom2Mom (sung to tune of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina"  We are so very proud of you Tonya and excited to hear what happens for you.  Tonya, we didn't cry, although we were ready to.  We are excited to hear about waht's going on!!!

• Speaking of Tonya, she is safe and sound in England.  She is still without a fulltime home, but that will come soon.

Speed dating Mom2Mom style - it was so nice to meet our new mom Deah and to see all of you other mom's again after the long summer siesta.  The only problem is that one minute just isn't enough to catch up.  We had some very interesting questions:  If you were the star of a Hollywood movie, who would be your co-star; If you had $100 that you could spend on yourself, what would you spend it on?; If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?;  What do you think your child will become when they grow up?; etc.

If you did not fill out your G2KU (Getting to Know You), please get it to Christy as soon as possible.  We want to get a roster made soon so we can get all information to you.

Welcome new childcare workers!!!!  We could not do this without you!!  We are so thankful for you and know that our children are in good hands!

Finally, Sarah read a wonderful letter called the Invisible Mother.  We all feel this way at times, but we are building great cathedrals.  Here is the letter in it's entirety.  Thank Lisa for sending it to us.

Invisible Mother......  

 

         It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the

 lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the

 room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the

 store. 

 

         Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see

 I'm on the phone?' 

 

         Obviously, not. 

 

         No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking,

 or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the

 corner, because no one can see me at all. 

 

          I'm invisible.   The invisible Mom . Some days

 I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?  

 Can you tie this?  Can you open this? 

 

         Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not

 even a human being.  I'm a clock to ask, 'What time

 is it?'  I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What

 number is the Disney Channel?'  I'm a car to order,

 'Right around 5:30, please.' 

 

         I was certain that these were the hands that once

 held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind

 that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had

 disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. 

  She's going; she's going; she is gone! 

 

         One night, a group of us were having dinner,

 celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had

 just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on

 and on about the hotel she stayed in.. I was sitting there,

 looking around at the others all put together so well. It

 was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. 

 

         I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned

 to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I

 brought you this.' 

 

         It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . 

 

         I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to

 me until I read her inscription: 

 

          'To Charlotte , with admiration for the

 greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' 

 

         In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the

 book.  And I would discover what would become for me, four

 life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 

 

         No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we

 have no record of their names.  

 

         These builders gave their whole lives for a work

 they would never see finished. 

 

         They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 

 

         The passion of their building was fueled by their

 faith that the eyes of God saw everything. 

 

         A legendary story in the book told of a rich man

 who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built,

 and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a

 beam.  He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you

 spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that

 will be covered by the roof?   No one will ever see it.'

  And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' 

 

         I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall

 into place. 

 

         It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,

 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make

 every day, even when no one around you does.  No act of

 kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no

 cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and

 smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you

 can't see right now what it will become.'  

 

          At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction.

   But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. 

 

         It is the cure for the disease of my own

 self-centeredness.   It is the antidote to my strong,

 stubborn pride. 

 

         I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a

 great builder.  As one of the people who show up at a job

 that they will never see finished, to work on something that

 their name will never be on. 

 

          The writer of the book went so far as to say that

 no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because

 there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

 

 

         When I really think about it, I don't want my

 son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college

 for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning

 and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey

 for three hours and presses all the linens for the

 table.'  That would mean I'd built a shrine or a

 monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. 

 And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to

 add, 'you're gonna love it there.' 

 

         As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We

 cannot be seen if we're doing it right. 

 

         And one day, it is very possible that the world

 will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the

 beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of

 invisible women. 

 

         Great Job, MOM! 

 

         Share this with all the Invisible Mom s you

 know...I just did.  

 

         Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough

 as it sometimes does. 

 

         We never know what our finished products will turn

 out to be because of our perseverance. 

Lastly, in closing, I ask that you be in prayer for everyone in our group.  You may not know everyone's name, but that's okay, God does.  We had some serious weather yesterday (Sunday) and many of our members are without power.  I will attach some pictures of our house after our beautiful tree decided to kiss our house.  Thank you, Lord Jesus, our house was not damaged, but many houses were.

Heavenly Father,

We thank you that we have a group such as Mom2Mom to have a support group.  We pray for all of our members as well as all those affected by the weather recently.  Please watch over and keep them safe from more damage.  We also pray for those in Texas who were directly affected by Hurricane Ike - especially Pastor Mike Bowie.  We know that you will use this for good and for Your glory!!!  We pray this and all the other prayers on our hearts in Your Holy and Blessed name.  Amen.

Here's a thought for the day:

He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.

They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.

Psalm 107:29-30

God bless you all and stay safe as we all clean up from the storm.

Ready or not, here we come!!!!

Welcome back to the 2008 - 2009 Mom2Mom session.  On this blog, you will find information about what happened at weekly meetings as well as information on favorite dishes prepared, activities outside of weekly meetings and mp3's of the speakers that we have.  I'm so very excited about this year.  Our fearless leader, Sarah, has a lot planned for our and our events planner, Ashley, has a large assortment of great activies outside our our meetings.  Below I've put the events scheduled for this month.  Hope to see you all at the meetings.  We start Thursday, September 11th with our Open House.  Food will be provided by our amazing leadership team.  Make sure you come ready to eat, socialize, and catch up on the summer's events!!  

Here's what's up for this month (September)

Thursday, September 11 ........ Open House 9:30 a.m. in Avenue Rooms 501-502

(Please be in prayer that day for those who were lost, lost loved ones, and were   otherwise affected by the terrible terrorist attacks in 2001)

(Also, please pray for our own Tonya who is leaving for England on this day.)

Monday, September 15 .......... Mom's night out (mom's only please).  Harrison's in  Tipp City.

(106 E. Main street in Tipp ........ Cost is similar to other bar and gills in the area)

Thursday, September 18 ....... Mom2Mom!! - Bible Study with Josie

(This year we will be using the book "Mom...and Loving It".  This book will be provided to you!  Please come and check it out!)

Monday, September 22 ....... Join us for an exciting day at the Boonshopft Museum.  We'll be meeting at the church parking lot at 9:30 a.m.  If you are unable to come at that time, let us know and we can see if another group would like to go later in the day.

Thursday, September 25 .... Mom2Mom!!!!! - Setting Boundaries Speaker - more on this to come.

I hope to see you all at the meetings.  I can hardly wait, I'm so excited!!!  Anywho, I'm not great at blogging, but as we go, it will get better - I hope.  :)

Here's a thought for the day:

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." Philipian 2:20

(NIV version)

God bless you all!!