Carolyn on the 3 Not So Simple Rules

Recently, our wonderful pastor's wife spoke to Mom2Mom about the 3 (Not So) Simple Rules:
1. Do No Harm
2. Do Good
3. Stay in Love with Jesus

All leadership starts with self leadership. In order to be a leader, we must have rules. These rules apply to everything we do as Christians. When people see us, they are comparing all Christians to us and determining whether or not to trust us. We need to put God first in our lives. This does not mean we have to wake up at 4 a.m. every morning to do our morning devotions, but we need to have renewal daily at a time that works for us. We also need to do things because they are what God would have us do it. But how do we know that God wants us to go in a certain direction? Listen for the Holy Spirit's guiding when we have our time with God. Maybe this time is in the bathroom reading your devotional because it's the only peace you get, but that 10 minutes might help you through the hardest part of the day and it's because the Holy Spirit is working through you. You are allowing God to work through you. You are being the Light for the World. We are to love others as we love ourselves. This is much easier said than done, but scriptures tell us to give more than we are asked to give and to turn the other cheek when wrongs come our way. This does not mean to be a doormat to the world, but to love those who persecute use and pray for them. Again, easier said than done, but pray for those around you who make your life tough. The best way to do this is to stay in love with Jesus. We can't even try to do no harm to others or do good unless we are connected to Jesus. He is the One who fills us with the Spirit. If we try to do the first two rules alone, we will become burned out very quickly (trust me, I know). But with Jesus, we are able to continue in a world that is all about self-indulgence and the idea of more is better. More isn't better, it's just more. Below are some notes from when Carolyn spoke as well as a video of her. It is not the best quality as I was the videographer and am not that great at it, but I ask that you pay attention to what she is saying, not how I videoed it. Carolyn is such an inspiration for many of us and I pray that you are inspired by what she says.

All Leadership Begins with Self Leadership

Galations 5: 13-16

13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!

Your selfish desires will never match up to the Holy Spirit, so don’t be a slave to selfish desires. When we read scripture, we shouldn’t just float through it, we should experience the Fruit of the Spirit and apply the word to our lives.

Carolyn went on to discuss a man named, John Wesley from England. He was a radical leader who was an ordained Anglican priest. He developed 3 methods/ disciplines (hence, where we get the name Methodist).

John Wesley’s 3 Simple Rules (Just because they’re simple does not mean they’re easy!)

1. Do not Harm

*Follow the golden rule (do unto others as you would have done unto you)

*Live life like Jesus “Lord, my mantra today is do no harm”

*Guard your words and actions; hear the spirit before you respond

*Honor and Love each other as a son or daughter of God

*Following Jesus is abandoning the way of the world

*Self Examination is so important, be proactive

When we take time to do no harm We Do Not:

*Gossip

*Speak negatively of others (Matthew 18, deals with how to handle conflict)

*Manipulate facts to make ourselves look better

*Act passive/aggressively (i.e. “I’m calm now, but you just wait until later”)

*Judge (We tend to think we have it all right and put others down when we don’t agree with them)

*Worship a set of beliefs, worship Jesus

2. Do Good

Luke 6:27

27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you

*Doing good means more than to your family and friends. We are given a difficult task at times, but he equips us with the tools we need to do them

*We need to have self denial and remember “it’s not about me”. However, we need to remember with this, that it is important to take care of ourselves and others, find a middle ground and not be a doormat.

3. Staying In Love with Jesus

*Stay connected with Christ, don’t live on fumes; continue to develop your relationship with Christ on a daily basis.

*Have your devotion/prayer time when you are at your best (i.e. If you’re a morning person, rise early, get your cup of coffee and spend the early morning with God. If not, find the time of day that works for you!)

*A commonly question that Carolyn is asked, “How do you hear God?” Her answer: “Make yourself available, position yourself to hear!”

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

We love you Brittany

Brittany is moving. Yes, it's true, our lovely voice of a woman is moving back to Tennesee with her wonderful husband, daughter, and bundle of joy on the way. We will miss you!

Today at our Mom2Mom meeting, Brittany graced us with one last song, "I Am Blessed" by Rachel Lampa. I pray that you are blessed through Brittany's music just as we have been blessed by her presence.

Boundaries

Boundaries. What are those and how as mothers do we use them? Do you have boundaries or do you always say yes to other people. Essentially having boundaries is knowing when to say yes and no to things. Personally, boundaries have been hard for me. I struggle because I'm a people pleaser, but now that I am a mommy, I have to do what is best for my child and sometimes (more often than not) I have to say no.

Recently, we had a wonderful speaker, Ginny, come to our Mom2Mom group to speak to us on just this subject. I highly recommend the "Boundaries" books and workbooks. While I haven't used them yet, I certainly will be after our wonderful presentation. Soon, we will have the video of the speaker. Thank you for being patient with me as we get this going. I know that I'm very late, but I had to set boundaries for myself and this is something that had to be set aside for a little bit of time.

If you have trouble with the word "No", then you are actually putting your children at risk. It is important to have boundaries for your children. It teaches responsibility and it keeps them safe. If we are too lenient and willing to let our children walk all over us, they are no learning how to become citizens of the world, they are learning that they are the most important. If we are doormats to everyone, then we are accepting everyone's responsibilities and our own are put on the back burner.

We have two kinds of responsibilities, the knapsack and a boulder. Those in our knapsack are the ones that we have to do daily - brush our teeth and hair, eat, get dressed, paying bills, etc.
The boulder is something that we can't do alone - someone has lost their job, etc. These are things that you need other people to help you with because it's too big to fix or do alone. We have to set boundaries so that we don't accept other people's boulders and try to move them alone.

Learning the word "no" can actually be one of the most important words that we teach our children.

In the first video, we are given an example of how boundaries are needed when we are raising children. If we don not have boundaries, then we are actually putting your children at risk.








Some important verses when having boundaries with kids include the following. There are many more, these are just a few.

Boundaries with kids verses:

Proverbs 22:6
Ephesians 6:4
Deuteronomy 6:5-8
Proverbs 12:1
Proverbs 13:24
Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 19:18
Proverbs 22:15
Proverbs 23:13
Hebrews 12:11





Another wonderful piece was shared with us by Amber. It is a prayer that I hope you read. It is very convicting, but also very needed in a mother's life. May it touch your heart and help you to be a better parent. Trust in the Lord in all things.

Heavenly Father,

make me a better parent.

Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say,

and to answer all their questions kindly.

Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them.

Make me as courteous to them as I would have them to me.

Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes,

or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me.

May I never punish them for my own satisfaction or to show my power.

Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal.

And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say

and do that honesty is the best policy.

Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me.

And when I am out of sorts, help me, OLord, to hold my tongue.

May I ever be mindful that my children are children

and I should not expectof them the judgment of adults.

Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions.

Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable requests

and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm.

Make me fair and just and kind.And fit me, O Lord,

to be loved and respected and imitated by my children.

Amen.